Christmas shopping...

[Beerus]

So yeah, I am almost done. Only gotta get one more thing and then what is left is the cats and Jay. Then I am done. I think, all things considered, I made good timing this year. Assuming Christmas is "normal" this year, shouldn't be so bad but it is never normal in my family and I feel like 2020 is going to make sure a few arguments take place and someone might end up crying. lol

How's Christmas shopping going for you guys? I know it is a little less than 2 months away but I think most people tend to start their shopping this month. I start in August like a crazy person.

 

[Super Kami Guru]

In a normal year I start around June or July picking up little bits for people, get the 'smaller' presents out of the way and start saving towards the bigger stuff. This year, though, I've had no real source of income to speak of with the whole situation at home, so I've done no shopping, can't really plan on doing any shopping, and am going to feel guilty as hell if anyone bothers to do anything for me. I'm the type that prefers to give rather than receive (I know, I know ), so I hate the fact that I can't do much of anything this year.

So yeah, this would be about the 'ramping up' time for purchasing in normal circumstances, but not this year for me! Still going to be with family and try to make it a fun time, as much as possible, just...more focused on the people part. Going to try to get the pets something, at least, though, because...

 

[Beerus]

In a normal year I start around June or July picking up little bits for people, get the 'smaller' presents out of the way and start saving towards the bigger stuff. This year, though, I've had no real source of income to speak of with the whole situation at home, so I've done no shopping, can't really plan on doing any shopping, and am going to feel guilty as hell if anyone bothers to do anything for me. I'm the type that prefers to give rather than receive (I know, I know ), so I hate the fact that I can't do much of anything this year.

So yeah, this would be about the 'ramping up' time for purchasing in normal circumstances, but not this year for me! Still going to be with family and try to make it a fun time, as much as possible, just...more focused on the people part. Going to try to get the pets something, at least, though, because...

Yeah I know that feel. Like the main thing I hate about the holiday season is the obligation to buy gifts so when you can't afford to do it, you feel awful about it. Gift giving is easier than gift-receiving for me too. I hate people buying me stuff that I don't like because I feel like they just wasted their money but if I say I don't like it, I am made to like like a jerk. Lose-lose situation. lol

 

[Super Kami Guru]

Yeah I know that feel. Like the main thing I hate about the holiday season is the obligation to buy gifts so when you can't afford to do it, you feel awful about it. Gift giving is easier than gift-receiving for me too. I hate people buying me stuff that I don't like because I feel like they just wasted their money but if I say I don't like it, I am made to like like a jerk. Lose-lose situation. lol

Exactly, most of my family and friends don't really know all that much about me and what I like because we're all radically different people with radically different interests, so while I do my research and try to get them things in their realm of interests, most of the time the only things they know about me are "vidja gamz and muzik," and they get both wrong quite frequently. I'm not ungrateful, because I appreciate the fact they went out of their way to buy something for me, but I'm far more comfortable and happier overall giving to people than taking from them. I don't want to be the jerk who left something someone gave me in the back of the closet untouched because I have no real use for it, I'd rather just not get anything and give to others. It just so happens that at this point in time I can't, so I get to be a double asshole and not utilize whatever someone buys me, and not give to those I'd rather give to. I'm such a jerk.

 

[Beerus]

Exactly, most of my family and friends don't really know all that much about me and what I like because we're all radically different people with radically different interests, so while I do my research and try to get them things in their realm of interests, most of the time the only things they know about me are "vidja gamz and muzik," and they get both wrong quite frequently. I'm not ungrateful, because I appreciate the fact they went out of their way to buy something for me, but I'm far more comfortable and happier overall giving to people than taking from them. I don't want to be the jerk who left something someone gave me in the back of the closet untouched because I have no real use for it, I'd rather just not get anything and give to others. It just so happens that at this point in time I can't, so I get to be a double asshole and not utilize whatever someone buys me, and not give to those I'd rather give to. I'm such a jerk.

I'm agreeing to how it feels, not to you being a jerk. There have been a number of years where my oldest brother couldn't afford to buy anything because he was not working. No one really cared. It was better that then he scraped together $7 and bought junk for each of us. Like keep the money and use it for gas or food. In the moment it sucks but I think most people are more than understanding.

 

[Super Kami Guru]

I'm agreeing to how it feels, not to you being a jerk. There have been a number of years where my oldest brother couldn't afford to buy anything because he was not working. No one really cared. It was better that then he scraped together $7 and bought junk for each of us. Like keep the money and use it for gas or food. In the moment it sucks but I think most people are more than understanding.

Oh no, I wasn't suggesting you were, I was just having a bit of a sardonic laugh at the fact that I love to buy things for people, but for reasons outside of my control, that's not a thing this year. I'm glad we'll be doing the family thing, because that much is becoming more and more important as things progress with my mother, and also the fact that a couple of weeks ago I learned of the death of my older (half-)brother and I've been sort of unsure how to deal with that, so having family around for the holiday season should cheer things up and take some of the strain away.

 

[Beerus]

Oh no, I wasn't suggesting you were

No, my rating. lol I meant I am not rating it with "agree" because I am agreeing that you are a jerk lol

I'm glad we'll be doing the family thing, because that much is becoming more and more important as things progress with my mother, and also the fact that a couple of weeks ago I learned of the death of my older (half-)brother and I've been sort of unsure how to deal with that, so having family around for the holiday season should cheer things up and take some of the strain away.

That is what the holiday season should be about anyway. Spending it with family. Gifts and food are just extras that shouldn't be needed.

 

[Super Kami Guru]

No, my rating. lol I meant I am not rating it with "agree" because I am agreeing that you are a jerk lol

...and that's where my head has been these past couple of weeks, it went completely over my head

That is what the holiday season should be about anyway. Spending it with family. Gifts and food are just extras that shouldn't be needed.

Agreed, and I feel like it's where we as a family need to keep things now. I've been looking after my mother for a couple of years, but these past few months in particular have been the absolute worst decline for her mentally, so I want to make sure we're all here. My older sister that still lives in the UK wants to come out and spend time, and bring her son and daughter who we haven't seen in about 7 years at this point, and I'd LOVE for them to come out just in time for the holiday season, but I don't think she really grasps just how far gone our mother is, and I'm not sure she could handle the reality of seeing her in this state, and I don't think it's fair to subject her kids (one's mid-20s, one's 19, so I say kids loosely) to seeing their favourite granny in such a state, either. So I think we're just keeping it to immediately available family, but if they come out I'm obviously not going to turn them away. I'll just have to be vigilant in making sure they're coping alright, as well (I think she's overly sensitive to it now because our brother just died and she feels like she's losing her immediate family all around her, so she wants to cling on to what she does have, and I absolutely understand that).

Anyway, getting side-tracked. I just really wanted a family-oriented christmas this year, just to make sure we can!

 

[Beerus]

Agreed, and I feel like it's where we as a family need to keep things now. I've been looking after my mother for a couple of years, but these past few months in particular have been the absolute worst decline for her mentally, so I want to make sure we're all here. My older sister that still lives in the UK wants to come out and spend time, and bring her son and daughter who we haven't seen in about 7 years at this point, and I'd LOVE for them to come out just in time for the holiday season, but I don't think she really grasps just how far gone our mother is, and I'm not sure she could handle the reality of seeing her in this state, and I don't think it's fair to subject her kids (one's mid-20s, one's 19, so I say kids loosely) to seeing their favourite granny in such a state, either. So I think we're just keeping it to immediately available family, but if they come out I'm obviously not going to turn them away. I'll just have to be vigilant in making sure they're coping alright, as well (I think she's overly sensitive to it now because our brother just died and she feels like she's losing her immediate family all around her, so she wants to cling on to what she does have, and I absolutely understand that).

Anyway, getting side-tracked. I just really wanted a family-oriented christmas this year, just to make sure we can!

I can understand that. The last time I saw my grandfather before he passed away, he didn't even know who I was and I just couldn't see him anymore like that. I wanted to remember him how he was, not how he is. You are a very strong person to be able to care for her and keep it all together. I hope you give yourself a lot of credit for that. Not many people could handle it.

With the virus thing still being an issue, there is a good chance that she might not make it to the US this year anyway which is fortunate and unfortunate at the same time.

 

[Super Kami Guru]

I can understand that. The last time I saw my grandfather before he passed away, he didn't even know who I was and I just couldn't see him anymore like that. I wanted to remember him how he was, not how he is. You are a very strong person to be able to care for her and keep it all together. I hope you give yourself a lot of credit for that. Not many people could handle it.

With the virus thing still being an issue, there is a good chance that she might not make it to the US this year anyway which is fortunate and unfortunate at the same time.

I think that's probably why I don't want her to come more than anything else, shattering that memory of who she was. It's a very difficult thing to see the person you think of as your mother coming after you and calling you every name she can think of because she's confused and scared and translates that into vitriol when, in her normal mind, she wouldn't dare speak to people like that. She'll snap at anyone, for any reason (or no reason at all), and it can get violent at times, and I just don't want to have to deal with that AND my sister's inevitable coming to terms with the realities of who our mother is now at the same time. I'm lucky enough that my sister who is just a year older than me is around enough to help out occasionally, but this would be another situation in itself and that's terrifying. I love my sister, I'd love her to come for a visit, but I know she couldn't handle this, and I would hate for her kids to be exposed to it, as well. You're right, though, Covid being what it is, she may not be able to get out here, anyway. I know the UK is going back on lockdown, so odds are she won't for a good while at the very least, but if she does choose to at some point...well, it'll be something!

As for me keeping it together, honestly, most days I'm not. I get to bed at night and just want to punch walls and have a complete breakdown, but I don't because I know if I'm out of commission there's no one there to help her. Not to mention the fact I've got all of my own medical issues going on that keeps me occupied, as well, and there's plenty there that keeps me on the edge of a breakdown. Not saying all of this searching for sympathy, it's just life and we all have our issues going on. What helps is having an outlet and using that outlet. For me it's games, but that's becoming difficult to find time for, so it's also websites, communities like this one, and just trying to have fun and get some enjoyment out of whatever I do to relieve that stress. Can't keep it all in all the time, so find a way to get it out and it really helps to balance you out a bit.

 

[Beerus]

I think that's probably why I don't want her to come more than anything else, shattering that memory of who she was. It's a very difficult thing to see the person you think of as your mother coming after you and calling you every name she can think of because she's confused and scared and translates that into vitriol when, in her normal mind, she wouldn't dare speak to people like that. She'll snap at anyone, for any reason (or no reason at all), and it can get violent at times, and I just don't want to have to deal with that AND my sister's inevitable coming to terms with the realities of who our mother is now at the same time. I'm lucky enough that my sister who is just a year older than me is around enough to help out occasionally, but this would be another situation in itself and that's terrifying. I love my sister, I'd love her to come for a visit, but I know she couldn't handle this, and I would hate for her kids to be exposed to it, as well. You're right, though, Covid being what it is, she may not be able to get out here, anyway. I know the UK is going back on lockdown, so odds are she won't for a good while at the very least, but if she does choose to at some point...well, it'll be something!

The best you can do is be upfront with her and prepare her for it best you can by telling her honestly that she is not the same person anymore and it might break her heart to see her that way. It is going to be hard for her regardless but it is something she will eventually have to come to terms with, better sooner than later ya know?

I get to bed at night and just want to punch walls and have a complete breakdown

Whoa now, calm down Kyle. (meme referencing because memes make things better)

but I don't because I know if I'm out of commission there's no one there to help her. Not to mention the fact I've got all of my own medical issues going on that keeps me occupied, as well, and there's plenty there that keeps me on the edge of a breakdown. Not saying all of this searching for sympathy, it's just life and we all have our issues going on. What helps is having an outlet and using that outlet. For me it's games, but that's becoming difficult to find time for, so it's also websites, communities like this one, and just trying to have fun and get some enjoyment out of whatever I do to relieve that stress. Can't keep it all in all the time, so find a way to get it out and it really helps to balance you out a bit.

You don't because she is giving you a purpose right now. In a way, being able to take care of her gives you something in return. The fact that you are more than willing to do this and seldom complain says it all. You are a good person and when she does remember and is aware of everything, I am sure she is very thankful to have you.

 

[Super Kami Guru]

The best you can do is be upfront with her and prepare her for it best you can by telling her honestly that she is not the same person anymore and it might break her heart to see her that way. It is going to be hard for her regardless but it is something she will eventually have to come to terms with, better sooner than later ya know?

Oh believe me, I've tried many times to be upfront with her, but she insists she can handle it and knows what she's in for. I'm hoping one of these days she'll realize it's for the best she just keep the memories, it's far better that way. We'll see, though!

Whoa now, calm down Kyle. (meme referencing because memes make things better)

NEVER! Emo rapcore video response!

You don't because she is giving you a purpose right now. In a way, being able to take care of her gives you something in return. The fact that you are more than willing to do this and seldom complain says it all. You are a good person and when she does remember and is aware of everything, I am sure she is very thankful to have you.

That's what I hope for, at least. Those few moments where she's her, however rare now, are glorious and yes, they make my day/week/month when they happen and she remembers me. I hope she knows deep down that I'm only looking out for her, but most of the time it's not her that's there, so you just carry on and hope for those breaks eventually.

 

[Yoshi]

I don't have that much in mind for Christmas when it comes to receiving gifts. I also can't give anyone gifts with my own money since I'm jobless.

 

[Super Kami Guru]

Nothing wrong with neither receiving nor giving gifts on christmas, as talked about above. Life is life and we all have our speed bumps

 

[Beerus]

So I have a few little things picked out I will snag in the next week or two. Then I gotta get the cats their gifts and stuff for Jay. Going to try and have everything at least ordered by the end of the month. I don't want to be shopping still in December.