Irl interactions

[ahill1]

Well, to me there's been a big shift in real life interactions. I think covid made it more noticeable... Not that it was the cause, but I think it rushed the process. Irl meetings, going out with friends, etc seem to be becoming rarer and rarer.

I'm studying very hard in college and have a couple of friends there who I talk to, but it's always something more ""professional"", more "study together" and all. It seems that, to me, people have become more disconnected to the social part and way more worried, to an unbalanced level, with whatever questions they need to address in their days rather than taking even a single day to hang out --- speaking about college. That's a stark difference from what I remember about my brother when he was in college, back in 2015 or so...

I feel more and more ppl are closing off to the world... Like, interactions are becoming rarer, or colder (not in the sense of rudeness, but a bigger disconnection than ever before).

 

[Beerus]

Yeah it is not good. I think it is part of the reason mental health issues have grown in the last 10 years. Covid almost sped things up but they were heading that direction already. For people that don't have big families or aren't close with their families and don't have many friends offline, it can be an issue. I think people just got too comfortable with talking to people online and substituted it for irl interactions.

 

[ahill1]

Yeah it is not good. I think it is part of the reason mental health issues have grown in the last 10 years. Covid almost sped things up but they were heading that direction already. For people that don't have big families or aren't close with their families and don't have many friends offline, it can be an issue. I think people just got too comfortable with talking to people online and substituted it for irl interactions.

Yeah, I would think social media also helped to accelerate the process... But I wonder if that's the main cause or if there was already a tendency to more closure and social media, like covid, sped it up.

 

[Beerus]

Yeah, I would think social media also helped to accelerate the process... But I wonder if that's the main cause or if there was already a tendency to more closure and social media, like covid, sped it up.

I think technology as a whole kind of pushed people this direction. Like I grew up playing outside. When I was in my teens, I went to the mall with friends and found things to do like that. These days you have endless amounts of video games online, tons of shows and movies you can stream, various apps, everyone is hooked to their phones... Like those memes you see of a group of friends out for dinner and they are all looking at their phones. Seems to be a bit of this and that but technology is certainly at the heart of it.

 

[ahill1]

I think technology as a whole kind of pushed people this direction. Like I grew up playing outside. When I was in my teens, I went to the mall with friends and found things to do like that. These days you have endless amounts of video games online, tons of shows and movies you can stream, various apps, everyone is hooked to their phones... Like those memes you see of a group of friends out for dinner and they are all looking at their phones. Seems to be a bit of this and that but technology is certainly at the heart of it.

Yes, but it is still curious because most ppl would like for that to be different, for technology to not affect them that much. I think older ppl all miss the "gathering with small talk and no smartphone", but they could just leave their smartphone and interact... Many older people are also in this trend. Even with the best memories in the past of social interactions, they still more often than not don't shy away from the habit. Which to me may show the social withdrawn, the reservation, the "preferring to be more drawn in" aspect --- are all part of a natural cycle... And that technology just made it easier.

For example, I think while sitting in a public space, most ppl get uncomfortable if they are not interacting with anyone (let's say college, before the class starts) and are not doing anything, like, are just looking the time running... Having a smartphone eases that tension I feel, as a way to show "look I may not be talking but I'm busy, I've a social life too"... And I think that it may be the case that before technology came up strongly, ppl would also feel uncomfortable when not interacting and not having a way through the possible awkwardness they may feel of judgement when not interacting and "doing nothing"... So I feel smartphones and all this stuff kinda complement a habit humans also have --- of trying to feel well when sitting across each other and not interacting all the time. It may not even be an addiction in the sense that the digital world is so cool, but a way to make certain situations more comfortable, etc...

But I think this tendency of higher frequency interactions in meetings beforehand kinda made people interact more than they normally would (not everyone ofc, speaking in a general way), fearing that awkward silence. Nowadays, there's a little machine that can make it more natural to not be interacting all the time and that it may attend to this needs of "having my own silence moment"... Though I feel it's also becoming unbalanced, that is, it's taking up more than what it should. I think social situations before, could feel more uncomfortable, but people learned better to be comfortable being uncomfortable in those, while now there's an easier way. I think ~ 2010 or so when smartphones were basic and used for more basic stuff, and that when someone really wanted to connect online they'd need to pick their computer... That was the best we had balance-wise --- a way through the need of having to keep the conversation going with a "now it's time for me to dive a little in my own stuff"... but those moments being here and then, more sporadically... not at anytime with the smartphones as readily accessible as ever.

 

[Beerus]

Yes, but it is still curious because most ppl would like for that to be different, for technology to not affect them that much. I think older ppl all miss the "gathering with small talk and no smartphone", but they could just leave their smartphone and interact... Many older people are also in this trend. Even with the best memories in the past of social interactions, they still more often than not don't shy away from the habit. Which to me may show the social withdrawn, the reservation, the "preferring to be more drawn in" aspect --- are all part of a natural cycle... And that technology just made it easier.

For example, I think while sitting in a public space, most ppl get uncomfortable if they are not interacting with anyone (let's say college, before the class starts) and are not doing anything, like, are just looking the time running... Having a smartphone eases that tension I feel, as a way to show "look I may not be talking but I'm busy, I've a social life too"... And I think that it may be the case that before technology came up strongly, ppl would also feel uncomfortable when not interacting and not having a way through the possible awkwardness they may feel of judgement when not interacting and "doing nothing"... So I feel smartphones and all this stuff kinda complement a habit humans also have --- of trying to feel well when sitting across each other and not interacting all the time. It may not even be an addiction in the sense that the digital world is so cool, but a way to make certain situations more comfortable, etc...

But I think this tendency of higher frequency interactions in meetings beforehand kinda made people interact more than they normally would (not everyone ofc, speaking in a general way), fearing that awkward silence. Nowadays, there's a little machine that can make it more natural to not be interacting all the time and that it may attend to this needs of "having my own silence moment"... Though I feel it's also becoming unbalanced, that is, it's taking up more than what it should. I think social situations before, could feel more uncomfortable, but people learned better to be comfortable being uncomfortable in those, while now there's an easier way. I think ~ 2010 or so when smartphones were basic and used for more basic stuff, and that when someone really wanted to connect online they'd need to pick their computer... That was the best we had balance-wise --- a way through the need of having to keep the conversation going with a "now it's time for me to dive a little in my own stuff"... but those moments being here and then, more sporadically... not at anytime with the smartphones as readily accessible as ever.

So when normies started using the internet daily. I mean yeah, I saw a change in my own life and lives of people around me in 2010. Maybe it just comes down to being able to access the internet everywhere and people just got addicted to it via social media platforms.

 

[ahill1]

So when normies started using the internet daily. I mean yeah, I saw a change in my own life and lives of people around me in 2010. Maybe it just comes down to being able to access the internet everywhere and people just got addicted to it via social media platforms.

Yeah, though idk if it's really an addiction or the need to be doing something... Like, before they'd do more productive things when not having a smartphone that could provide entertainment in free time (mostly cheap entertainment), though in social settings I feel the addiction is blurred by many people being naturally shy to start a group conversation and bring a subject... Before smartphones, it'd feel more awkward not to do it, as people would be in a room looking at nothing, so the silence would be more awkward. I think phones readily accessible help many to feel more comfortable in social situations while they aren't engaging in conversations when many are --- it shows they are "busy"... Even if they aren't, the pressure for them to also participate in conversations is relieved by making it look like they are with their smartphone --- while before, ppl who'd stay away mostly due to being shy, introverts or introspective would suffer a bigger pressure... We'd have more people wondering whether they were autistic and so on. So I think before the smartphone era it was not too comfortable to many ppl either --- I think they'd be tempted to interact even if not willing fearing the awkwardness of not doing it.

Not that smartphones are a positive thing, I think the way the usage is taking such a big time out of interactions is making it unbalanced... It's like, I think there's always an ideal middle ground --- between heavy interaction and between having your own escape by not interacting all the time and doing your own things amidst in a group dinner meeting... Though to be in the ideal middle ground is tough, I think the withdrawn from interactions got stronger than it ideally should.

Finding the middle ground is key but challenging when a different era is coming... It tends to change too much to one side. But many things are cyclical in life, so I believe that humans have both sides --- strong interaction needs and needed moments of "I'd rather to not be interacting that much now". The later is showing strongly nowadays, which to me is a tendency not caused but accelerated/facilitated by technology --- but a tendency we ourselves have nonetheless...

... However, with time, imo the need for human interactions, the need for a closer bond between groups and communities irl, that are also integral to humans, will start to show up again, and we will see more interactions like the old days. I was having this discussion with a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist and he also shares the same idea --- tendencies being cyclical. He recommended me a book about it that I'd really like to read when I have the time.

 

[Beerus]

Yeah, though idk if it's really an addiction or the need to be doing something... Like, before they'd do more productive things when not having a smartphone that could provide entertainment in free time (mostly cheap entertainment), though in social settings I feel the addiction is blurred by many people being naturally shy to start a group conversation and bring a subject... Before smartphones, it'd feel more awkward not to do it, as people would be in a room looking at nothing, so the silence would be more awkward. I think phones readily accessible help many to feel more comfortable in social situations while they aren't engaging in conversations when many are --- it shows they are "busy"... Even if they aren't, the pressure for them to also participate in conversations is relieved by making it look like they are with their smartphone --- while before, ppl who'd stay away mostly due to being shy, introverts or introspective would suffer a bigger pressure... We'd have more people wondering whether they were autistic and so on. So I think before the smartphone era it was not too comfortable to many ppl either --- I think they'd be tempted to interact even if not willing fearing the awkwardness of not doing it.

Not that smartphones are a positive thing, I think the way the usage is taking such a big time out of interactions is making it unbalanced... It's like, I think there's always an ideal middle ground --- between heavy interaction and between having your own escape by not interacting all the time and doing your own things amidst in a group dinner meeting... Though to be in the ideal middle ground is tough, I think the withdrawn from interactions got stronger than it ideally should.

Finding the middle ground is key but challenging when a different era is coming... It tends to change too much to one side. But many things are cyclical in life, so I believe that humans have both sides --- strong interaction needs and needed moments of "I'd rather to not be interacting that much now". The later is showing strongly nowadays, which to me is a tendency not caused but accelerated/facilitated by technology --- but a tendency we ourselves have nonetheless...

... However, with time, imo the need for human interactions, the need for a closer bond between groups and communities irl, that are also integral to humans, will start to show up again, and we will see more interactions like the old days. I was having this discussion with a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist and he also shares the same idea --- tendencies being cyclical. He recommended me a book about it that I'd really like to read when I have the time.

It will shift back. I am seeing a lot more gen z people, for example, going back to church. People want community and togetherness again and it shows. Maybe covid 19 was a wake-up call for younger people. Being isolated showed them how much they need that sense of community. I think lack of purpose plays a role too. This is why a lot of people feel helpless and are so emotionally attached to things people weren't so attached to just in the '90s. I think the tides are turning. Humans need other humans, we thrive in communities and togetherness.

 

[ahill1]

Sorry about the long texts btw lol. I'm always like this nowadays when I occasionally write on the few forums I am in. I need to learn to be more concise.

 

[Yoshi]

I don’t have a big family either and I replaced that area of my life with online friends. Now that my brother has passed I definitely need to branch out from online interactions with offline ones. Going to Church this Sunday has been a good start.

 

[ahill1]

I don’t have a big family either and I replaced that area of my life with online friends. Now that my brother has passed I definitely need to branch out from online interactions with offline ones. Going to Church this Sunday has been a good start.

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope all the best for you and your life. Trust in yourself, don't let online comments from the past ever discourage you. Only you know yourself, and I am sure you will have very pleasant things in your life yet. Going to church is always good too. God knows your sufferings, fears, your abilities, your qualities... Trust in Him and get closer and closer to Him.

 

[Yoshi]

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope all the best for you and your life. Trust in yourself, don't let online comments from the past ever discourage you. Only you know yourself, and I am sure you will have very pleasant things in your life yet. Going to church is always good too. God knows your sufferings, fears, your abilities, your qualities... Trust in Him and get closer and closer to Him.

Thank you Ahill1. I try not to think about my past online experiences too much anymore. Do you go to church too?