Relationship Advice Thread

[Giga Hertz]

- Girl or guy? (this matters more than it should)
- Do you have an actual method of reconnecting (Facebook, phone, living in the area)
- Are you wanting to reconnect because you were friends at school and you feel bad you lost touch?

 

[Yoshi]

-Guy
-Lives in the closest town to my hometown
-He moved outside of his hometown to the town he lives in now. We eventually lost contact after that. When we lived in the same hometown, we hung out every weekend.

 

[Giga Hertz]

If you've got a method of getting hold of him (phone number, social media, whatever) then just drop a line saying "Hey, I'm going to be in [town] on [date]. If you're free do you want to catch up over [coffee/lunch/beer]?"

 

[Yoshi]

What’s the difference between flirting and teasing?

How can you tell if someone has a stable relationship compared to a rocky relationship?

What’s the difference in definitions between boyfriend/girlfriend, partner, significant other, husband/wife, etc?

 

[Giga Hertz]

Flirting is sometimes teasing with romantic intent - "you're so cute when you [x]" can be friendly teasing or hinting romantic attraction.

Hard to tell without being in their shoes. The only real telltale signs is if they complain a lot about the person or relationship. Arguing in public often isn't a smoking gun.

Partner and SO can be used interchangeably with either girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband/spouse. Generally people will use partner as a catch-all (ie a date is welcome to an event)

 

[Cell]

What’s the difference between flirting and teasing?

This is a book. Women flirt, but men miss them, because they're not paying attention. And EVEN if you DO, they change their stories in 180 turns.

Teasing is sort-of the same, but its a bit easier to see than the flirting. I like women who tease than the flirts. You can have fun in teasing, than flirting. But like flirting, you need to catch it.

My problem with teasing is there's also "leading on" meaning she strings you along for whatever agenda. Whether its for ego, for fun, for this and that.

Teasing is both obvious and subtle. The hints are subtle to everyone, but the actual tease is obvious to the person she targets it at. The problem is, if you're getting a tease for a long time... its a game at that point. So make sure you love her. Or just drop her.

 

[Beerus]

What’s the difference between flirting and teasing?

Flirting is passive, teasing is passive aggressive. Not all teasing is flirting or friendly but you should be able to tell when it isn't.

How can you tell if someone has a stable relationship compared to a rocky relationship?

Without them opening up or being close friend with them, you really can't. You can make assumptions based on patterns but they aren't always correct.

What’s the difference in definitions between boyfriend/girlfriend, partner, significant other, husband/wife, etc?

Partner and significant other are just other terms for boyfriend/girlfriend but can also mean husband/wife, it is used more often by gay/lesbian couples and liberal couples because they don't like the terms husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

[Cell]

Flirting is passive, teasing is passive aggressive. Not all teasing is flirting or friendly but you should be able to tell when it isn't.

Without them opening up or being close friend with them, you really can't. You can make assumptions based on patterns but they aren't always correct.

Partner and significant other are just other terms for boyfriend/girlfriend but can also mean husband/wife, it is used more often by gay/lesbian couples and liberal couples because they don't like the terms husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend.

Agree with everything said here. Especially the friendship part, but this is 50/50 chance of working. Because... there's "Friend Zone." I detest this rule. Its so dumb, but whatever. Rolling my eyes here.

 

[Yoshi]

Agree with everything said here. Especially the friendship part, but this is 50/50 chance of working. Because... there's "Friend Zone." I detest this rule. Its so dumb, but whatever. Rolling my eyes here.

Can you elaborate?

 

[Cell]

Can you elaborate?

So, you became friends...? Right...? You like each other... Right? Opp. You made a mistake, she puts YOU in friend zone. But she doesn't tell you this, but she does it in a different way; "I like you, I think you're cute, but I wanna stay friends." Bro, friend zoned you. Like, she put you on ice. She probably doesn't feel something or whatever. And when she does.. I don't recommend pursuing this person.

So, now YOU can make her feel a certain way to pull you out of that friend zone, but that is a long haul, long-term play. But the thing is, in my experience, this only brings disappointment as you WATCH her attitude towards others.

This is a more nuanced system, which is part of the reason why I hate the rule.

 

[Yoshi]

So, you became friends...? Right...? You like each other... Right? Opp. You made a mistake, she puts YOU in friend zone. But she doesn't tell you this, but she does it in a different way; "I like you, I think you're cute, but I wanna stay friends." Bro, friend zoned you. Like, she put you on ice. She probably doesn't feel something or whatever. And when she does.. I don't recommend pursuing this person.

So, now YOU can make her feel a certain way to pull you out of that friend zone, but that is a long haul, long-term play. But the thing is, in my experience, this only brings disappointment as you WATCH her attitude towards others.

This is a more nuanced system, which is part of the reason why I hate the rule.

When I was a teenager, I confessed to a girl around my age, and she told me she liked me like a brother. Two weeks pass, I apologize like an idiot and she said it’s all good. The very same day, she updates her Facebook status and it says “in a relationship” with so and so.

 

[Cell]

When I was a teenager, I confessed to a girl around my age, and she told me she liked me like a brother. Two weeks pass, I apologize like an idiot and she said it’s all good. The very same day, she updates her Facebook status and it says “in a relationship” with so and so.

Yeah, that's what I mean by "Friend Zone." She was playing [mind] games.

 

[Beerus]

I don't think it is fair to say a woman putting a guy she has no romantic interest in into a "friend zone" is playing mind games. A lot of women just try to be as nice as possible with rejection. I would probably be better for most to just flat out say "I am not interested in you like that" though.

 

[Giga Hertz]

For what it's worth, the last girl I dated we were friends with for a while and then it took 14 months of close-friends-not-dating before she agred to date me.

We got married 2 weeks ago.

Being friends with someone for a while first isn't a fool's game or a death sentence. It's usually preferable because then you know you actually like each other beyond what your genitals are saying.

 

[Cell]

I don't think it is fair to say a woman putting a guy she has no romantic interest in into a "friend zone" is playing mind games. A lot of women just try to be as nice as possible with rejection. I would probably be better for most to just flat out say "I am not interested in you like that" though.

True. Not all girls/women think that way, but in @Yoshi's case, she was. It what she did AFTER the rejection. She put "in a relationship." I mean, wtf? Who does that? Its spiteful.

 

[Beerus]

True. Not all girls/women think that way, but in @Yoshi's case, she was. It what she did AFTER the rejection. She put "in a relationship." I mean, wtf? Who does that? Its spiteful.

Could have just did it cause she didn't want to be bothered. Some women would rather lie then actually say they aren't interested.

 

[Beerus]

For what it's worth, the last girl I dated we were friends with for a while and then it took 14 months of close-friends-not-dating before she agred to date me.

We got married 2 weeks ago.

Being friends with someone for a while first isn't a fool's game or a death sentence. It's usually preferable because then you know you actually like each other beyond what your genitals are saying.

Depends on the people. If you are both on the same page, it is always for the better but most people these days don't care to get to know one another before hopping in bed.

 

[Giga Hertz]

Depends on the people. If you are both on the same page, it is always for the better but most people these days don't care to get to know one another before hopping in bed.

Harder to get unwanted pregnancies, STIs, poorly defined relationship boundaries if you develop a serious relationship with the intention of seeing if it leads to marriage.

 

[Yoshi]

Could have just did it cause she didn't want to be bothered. Some women would rather lie then actually say they aren't interested.

No, she actually did date that guy for months afterwards.

 

[Beerus]

No, she actually did date that guy for months afterwards.

Then she was probably already interested in him and you just have poor timing lol