Relationship Advice Thread

Giga Hertz said:
Harder to get unwanted pregnancies, STIs, poorly defined relationship boundaries if you develop a serious relationship with the intention of seeing if it leads to marriage. :bulmatea:
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I think some people just like causing chaos and trouble in their own lives. Or at least don't care about the risk of it.
 
Beerus said:
Could have just did it cause she didn't want to be bothered. Some women would rather lie then actually say they aren't interested.
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I dunno bro, if a woman rejects me, and puts "in a relationship" on purpose, my feelings would wound. I had this happen a few times, its not fun.

Before internet, it would be in your face.

I was interested in a girl in high school, she pulled the same stunt. And as she gets into the car, she flips me off. Cold. I get trying to be nice, I get it... but that attitude black pills me and I act cold to women sometimes. Its because of people like that.
 
Feel comfortable and make sure she is comfortable around you. Don't force things like unwanted jokes to break the ice. Try to be there when she needs when you can. Give her enough space always. Don't bend too much either, don't accept everything and if you are in the right, speak your mind. Don't try to be perfect and know she has her struggles just as you have. Be comfortable to open up many times and be invested when she does. Don't get caught up on what you can see as just a minor thing, don't overthink things too much.
 
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ahill1 said:
Feel comfortable and make sure she is comfortable around you. Don't force things like unwanted jokes to break the ice. Try to be there when she needs when you can. Give her enough space always. Don't bend too much either, don't accept everything and if you are in the right, speak your mind. Don't try to be perfect and know she has her struggles just as you have. Be comfortable to open up many times and be invested when she does. Don't get caught up on what you can see as just a minor thing, don't overthink things too much.
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What were your relationships like Ahill, if you don’t mind me asking?
 
Yoshi said:
What were your relationships like Ahill, if you don’t mind me asking?
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It was a good one. I don't have anything other than happy things to remember of that. It was so, so long ago. After that, I never got into another one. I think it is a bit of a subconscious thing, like not wanting for people to get into my life too much. Like, valuing a partnership, but still, some way, I think, avoiding opening up too much and fearing it getting too close. So eh, I think when there's the potential for a new one, I end up distancing myself somewhat (not in a direct spoken way ofc, but meeting up less, etc... during conversations, I'm polite and warm/welcome as always tho, just the frequency diminishes).
 
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ahill1 said:
It was a good one. I don't have anything other than happy things to remember of that. It was so, so long ago. After that, I never got into another one. I think it is a bit of a subconscious thing, like not wanting for people to get into my life too much. Like, valuing a partnership, but still, some way, I think, avoiding opening up too much and fearing it getting too close. So eh, I think when there's the potential for a new one, I end up distancing myself somewhat (not in a direct spoken way ofc, but meeting up less, etc... during conversations, I'm polite and warm/welcome as always tho, just the frequency diminishes).
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Have you considered getting into a long term relationship after that?
 
I just got back on Facebook and I reconnected with a woman who I believe knows I’ve had a crush on her since childhood. She lives two states away right now and she’s been in a relationship with a guy for six months now, but she’s been in a lot of long term relationships before so I have hope that they’ll break up eventually and that we can get together. Any advice?
 
Yoshi said:
but she’s been in a lot of long term relationships before so I have hope that they’ll break up eventually and that we can get together.
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People generally don't get in long term relationships with the intention of breaking them off. Generally it means they're trying to figure out if they can be permanent.

Be friends with her, and don't be weird or forward. Do it with the intention of being her friend regardless of the outcome, or don't do it at all.
 
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Yoshi said:
I just got back on Facebook and I reconnected with a woman who I believe knows I’ve had a crush on her since childhood. She lives two states away right now and she’s been in a relationship with a guy for six months now, but she’s been in a lot of long term relationships before so I have hope that they’ll break up eventually and that we can get together. Any advice?
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I am exactly in this predicament somewhat. Tarot reads tell you to release the person you're thinking of. Do it.

I met this woman before Facebook, before Twitter, before all this Social Media. I was crushing on her for a while. This is after my teenage years of crushing on a girl.

Ok, so she and I had a unique way of "dating." Let's just leave it as that. Anyway, I started chasing her, pursuing her - however you like to see it. I did everything. Still I couldn't get her to admit her feelings for me. Because I already know how interested she is in me. She knows I'm interested. She knows I like her. She knows I love her. But she chose to put me on the bench while dating around, fucking around.

One day, she tells me to "Go Away." I said... "Okay." And I know two things: She's in a relationship, she says she's married. But, I KNOW she is interested. She asked my uncle some information about me. Like my favorite color. The way she looks at me at times...? I already know. She's trying to hide her feelings.

Anyway, I'm trying to set up the story a bit, to correlate to what you're trying to do. Since she told me to "Go Away," I kept feeling her over the period from 2003 to 2017. In 2018, I woke up to a big jolt, visions. So, yeah, I do know what I'm talking about.

So, you want to get her "get away" from her new boo. Don't. You need to dream of this person and tell God you want her. To manifest this dream, you need to do this. And you need to let go your feelings for her, and put it over there. So, SHE wonders where your energy is.

When you dream of a person, that person gets one of two things - a vision of you or gets a premonition about... you. Okay...?

Now, this is going to be a long road. So buckle up. Because SHE needs to split from her boyfriend, and its not happening unless she has a change of heart or something. Something needs to end here. They fight, they break up.

You can message her, build up a friendship so when she breaks up and gets out of rebound, you can strike. But the thing is you can't tell her to dump the other person. It won't work. You need to convince her by feelings.

Just put your dreams out to God, spirit, source, whatever. But let go of the feelings for now, and just do what you do for life. If you want to contact her, do it without agenda or whatever. Just try to be a friend, and maintain it. Ok?

I know this sounds weird, but I know it works because I got a cryptic text message from someone I know. There was an image accompanied with the text. Yeah. Flirty. I blocked the message because they were trying to be mysterious. No. Don't do that.

I got another phone call from a place I don't know. But I know who it is.
 
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Giga Hertz said:
Be friends with her, and don't be weird or forward. Do it with the intention of being her friend regardless of the outcome, or don't do it at all.
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You’re right. I am interested in being her friend too. We used to live in the same neighborhood and we also tried doing stuff outside of high school and outside of social media when we both lived in the same state.
Cell said:
I am exactly in this predicament somewhat. Tarot reads tell you to release the person you're thinking of. Do it.

I met this woman before Facebook, before Twitter, before all this Social Media. I was crushing on her for a while. This is after my teenage years of crushing on a girl.

Ok, so she and I had a unique way of "dating." Let's just leave it as that. Anyway, I started chasing her, pursuing her - however you like to see it. I did everything. Still I couldn't get her to admit her feelings for me. Because I already know how interested she is in me. She knows I'm interested. She knows I like her. She knows I love her. But she chose to put me on the bench while dating around, fucking around.

One day, she tells me to "Go Away." I said... "Okay." And I know two things: She's in a relationship, she says she's married. But, I KNOW she is interested. She asked my uncle some information about me. Like my favorite color. The way she looks at me at times...? I already know. She's trying to hide her feelings.

Anyway, I'm trying to set up the story a bit, to correlate to what you're trying to do. Since she told me to "Go Away," I kept feeling her over the period from 2003 to 2017. In 2018, I woke up to a big jolt, visions. So, yeah, I do know what I'm talking about.

So, you want to get her "get away" from her new boo. Don't. You need to dream of this person and tell God you want her. To manifest this dream, you need to do this. And you need to let got your feelings for her, and put it over there. So, SHE wonders where your energy is.

When you dream of a person, that person gets one of two things - a vision of you or gets a premonition about... you. Okay...?

Now, this is going to be a long road. So buckle up. Because SHE needs to split from her boyfriend, and its not happening unless she has a change of heart or something. Something needs to end here. They fight, they break up.

You can message her, build up a friendship so when she breaks up and gets out of rebound, you can strike. But the thing is you can't tell her to dump the other person. It won't work. You need to convince her by feelings.

Just put your dreams out to God, spirit, source, whatever. But let go of the feelings for now, and just do what you do for life. If you want to contact her, do it without agenda or whatever. Just try to be a friend, and maintain it. Ok?

I know this sounds weird, but I know it works because I got a cryptic text message from someone I know. There was an image accompanied with the text. Yeah. Flirty. I blocked the message because they were trying to be mysterious. No. Don't do that.

I got another phone call from a place I don't know. But I know who it is.
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I remember she told me out of the blue years ago that she broke up with her boyfriend, but I felt like as a person I wasn’t mentally prepared for a relationship at the time.

Like your situation, I also think she likes me back but I wasn’t as mature as she was in our twenties. But that’s okay because women mature faster than men.
 
Beerus said:
Coming from a woman, that seems hella predatorial :disapprove2:
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Nah. Being creepy is. But I meant like. Casual "hi. How you doing." Take it from there. I am condensing the story, but take your sweet time.

Nothing wrong with two people talking. Its like talking to a friend.

I don't know how my message came off to you, but I meant no ill will.

EDIT: And to be fair, I DID say "and rebound" as in she's single, not in the phase where she's just dating after a breakup. I meant like "the coast is clear."
 
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Yoshi said:
You’re right. I am interested in being her friend too. We used to live in the same neighborhood and we also tried doing stuff outside of high school and outside of social media when we both lived in the same state.

I remember she told me out of the blue years ago that she broke up with her boyfriend, but I felt like as a person I wasn’t mentally prepared for a relationship at the time.

Like your situation, I also think she likes me back but I wasn’t as mature as she was in our twenties. But that’s okay because women mature faster than men.
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Women don't mature fast. Maybe if they were 30 yrs, but the women I met are either immature or ignorant (stupid).

The storyline I talk about is the immature woman at 24 years old. The ignorant one? 39 yrs. So ignorant that she'd dump a nice guy who owns a house, and whatever. She is stuck in the welfare/gold digger, nanny state attitude. She wants a man to pay for her lavish lifestyle.

The immature lady will make stupid decisions that also impacts her life and others. She dates men who have big pp, big muscles, and whatnot.
 
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Also, it didn't occur to me until now, but tonight I am at the wedding of my oldest best online friend (almost 20 years). She's been dating her now-husband for over 10. So to reiterate: she had zero intentions of being with anyone else.
 
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I think I’m already off to a good start, but any advice over how to improve my social life?
 
Yoshi said:
I think I’m already off to a good start, but any advice over how to improve my social life?
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What are you doing already? Do you go out a bit (at least once a week)? Do you have a hobby you go out to and interact with other people? Started going to church again?
 
Giga Hertz said:
What are you doing already? Do you go out a bit (at least once a week)? Do you have a hobby you go out to and interact with other people? Started going to church again?
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I’m catching up with old friends through the phone and social media. I’m just now starting to hang out with them in real life again. Not yet but I’m considering things like Main Event, Dave & Busters, Putt Putt, etc. I’m trying to convince my parents to settle for a church, any church, but my Dad is too picky.
 
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